you know, as a single guy living alone in a house, you get a lot of time to think on your own. no wife to answer to, no girlfriend to sway your thoughts, a disobedient dog to frustrate you more. Yep, nothing but a massive TV, a room full of 20 computers, constant music throughout the house making you feel like your life really does have background music (except when in your car, because your amps are currently all jacked up). this, my friend, makes up the perfect combination for all sorts of thought provoking questions and amusements.
with all that said, have any of you found that putting thoughts on paper are more difficult knowing that friends and family are looking on? you watch what you say, you phrase things a little different than you typically would, you don’t delve too deep into many issues at all. this is all good as most of them most likely wouldn’t care to read all the garbage that falls out of your head onto a computer screen anyway, but it makes you think nonetheless.
does any of this mean that i have some things to say that i am not willing to write about out of fear that others would read it? no, but those others are not just others. they are people that have an opinion in my own personal life in a way that no stranger would. this of course makes things that come out a little more toned down. sure, there are thoughts that linger in my head for what seem like an eternity, but that tends to be fine by me.
why would it be easier to write on a blog to a lot of people that you don’t know? simple…judgement, or i guess, lack thereof. sure, even in this case, people would judge, but who cares? they don’t know you and you don’t know them. what’s the big deal? friends and family on the other hand are the ones that matter in these situations, but you simply would rather not put that kind of stuff out there for them to become participants in.
i guess that everyone has things on their minds that they feel would be better staying there, but once more, for a single guy living on his own, private time tends to allow the mind to process the activities of the day, the activities that have yet to come about, and anything and everything in between a bit more. however, i’m not going to lie, i love this. having been an introvert all my life, i tend to enjoy a private time much more than the next guy. to sit aside and just contemplate the “what if” questions that just so happen to wander into the open mind as you sit there, in a daze, staring at a screen that has no right in being as big as it is. oh well, life moves on. another day passes. another week, month, and year are yet to come.
when will it end? not anytime soon, but of that i am fine. a long life, lots of thoughts, constant music making your life a little bit more like that movie you love so much. step back, take a breath, and slowly move ahead.
